


Happy Birthday PFU

by Basmathgirl



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Fright Night (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Singing, F/M, Singing, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:49:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basmathgirl/pseuds/Basmathgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Many things are irritating late at night. Drunken singing is merely one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Birthday PFU

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** these were merely mine for the hour I was set to write this little piece by [tkel_paris](http://tkel-paris.livejournal.com). I borrowed them for an hour or so afterwards in order to finish this.  
>  **A/N:** I'm posting this before I fiddle with it any more. I tried to make it Nellie instead but it didn't work. The second song is "[Love You A Little Bit More](https://youtu.be/G9g03voGnJI)" by Dr Hook.

It had been a long, draining day of studying. Far too long to put up with the noise out in the corridor of the student halls of residence despite the thought of being able to lie in in the morning if so desired. There was enough racket to cover someone being murdered; or at least them murdering a decent song.

“♫♬♪♩ Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to ME!♫♬♪♩” sang out a gradually loudening male voice. “♫♬♪♩ Happy birthday pathetic fuck up! Happy birthday to _ooooo_ ME _eeeeee_! ♫♬♪♩”

What the heck?! Donna cautiously opened her student flat door and peered out into the corridor beyond. 

Waivering at the bottom of the staircase, leading up to the third floor rooms, was a man she recognised from her economics class. Peter something or other. Vincent. That was it. She had had no direct personal dealings with him; although he tended to sit right at the back in the corner whereas she was right at the front, trying to be eager whilst not showing it. She had felt his sneer from several rows behind. 

Anyway, the walking ball of dark sarcasm was singing at the top of his voice right outside her door. “Was it your birthday yesterday or…” She looked meaningfully at her watch. “...it is now today? Seeing as it is well passed midnight.”

He grinned inanely at her and held on desperately to the baluster shaft of the stair beside him. “Is it? Fuck, didn’t know that.”

Wanting to make her point, she added, “It’s gone 2am.”

Still holding onto the baluster, he swung closer in triumph. “Past the witching hour, and I didn’t turn into a pumpkin. Or a vampire.”

“Was that an option?” she wondered before she could stop herself. 

“It is in my world,” he replied. “You look kind of familiar.” He then waved his index finger backwards and forwards. “Have you and me ever erm….?”

“No,” she hastily replied. “I’m not even on your list of possibles.”

“Why not?” He narrowed his eyes to stare at her after sweeping his gaze up and down her body. “You look completely fuckable to me.”

“Thanks,” she sarcastically retorted. 

He frowned. “It was meant as a compliment. No need to get arsey.”

“Yeah, because that’s exactly how it sounded,” she complained. He may be good looking but that didn’t excuse his attitude. 

“No, no, no, no,” he insisted, and hiccuped a drunken burp. “Don’t be mean to me. It’s my birthday.”

“Is it? I’d have never known,” she remarked, “what with the singing and everything.”

However, he ignored that and shifted closer. “You’re that bird from economics, aren’t you? The one with the books.”

Of course she had books! How did he think she learned anything? “And you’re the bloke that sits and sneers at me.”

“I do not sneer,” he carefully enunciated, now almost in her face. “Might make a few observations as I fantasise about your massive boobs though…”

Feeling his eyeballs instantly land on her chest, Donna quickly covered her body by crossing her arms. “Can’t say the same about your dick.”

“Can’t you?!” A hurt look crossed his features, leaving a pout behind in its wake. “I’m sure I could persuade you to, if you’d let me.”

“There’s not a lot I’d let you do where I’m concerned,” she pithily answered, “apart from leave me alone.”

“Aww, that’s not nice.” A leering smile appeared. “I deserve at least a birthday kiss from such a tasty bird.”

“I’m sure a frozen piece of chicken in your fridge-freezer will let you put your lips on it,” she pondered. “That’s the only tasty bird you’re likely to get.”

“Been taking the frigid bitch tablets again?” he threw at her. “Fuck me! You make it hard to chat you up.”

“I do when you only do this when you’re drunk outside my room at stupid o‘clock in the morning,” she retaliated.

“Then how about,” he began to suggest, pushing himself up against her, “we discuss this further in your bedroom? We have a fuckload to get through.”

Her nostrils flared. “Prick.” 

To her continuing annoyance he smiled with delight. “You’ve been thinking about it quite a lot, haven’t you? Can’t wait to get your hands down my trousers and touch me up. Well, this is your lucky day. We can make this a mutual groping society.” 

The thought had crossed her mind, in a much more innocent way; but she would never admit to that. She would, however, acknowledge how angry she was. “Why on earth would I want to do that?!”

“Because it’s my birthday,” he answered, “and we want to fuck each other.” 

Under his deep hypnotic gaze, she waivered for a moment. “Do we?” Damn him!

“Oh yes!” he confirmed. But when she didn’t instantly seem convinced, he decided to hedge his bets. “Or you could just give me that birthday kiss I wanted.”

“Or you could sod off,” she grumbled, pushing him away. “I bet you don’t even know my name.”

“Don’t I?” he challenged. “What do I get if I do?”

“A year’s supply of tampons,” she suggested. “Who cares?! You obviously haven’t got a clue.”

His expression went contrite. “I might…”

Heaving a massive sigh, she turned and went to shut the door on him, determined to now ignore this drunken waste of space. But his arm shot out and she felt his hand rest firmly on her shoulder. 

“Please,” he quietly begged, “remind me what your name is.”

“No.”

He glared, opened his mouth wide, and began to sing at the top of his voice. “♫♬♪♩ When your body's had enough of me. And I'm laying flat out on the floor. When you think I've loved you all I can, I'm gonna love you a little bit more!♫♬♪♩”

“Shush!!!”

“♫♬♪♩ Look into my eyes and give me that smile. The one that always turns me on. And let me take your hair down. 'Cause we're stayin' up to greet the su _uuu_ n! ♫♬♪♩” he continued with gusto despite now having her hand clamped partially over his mouth.

“Will you shut up!” she hissed through gritted teeth.

“For fuck’s sake, Donna! Shut your boyfriend up!” a testy voice from behind her in the flat demanded. “Or I shall personally punch him in the gob.”

“Sorry, Lisa!” Donna called back to them. “Just getting rid of him now.”

There was the sound of a door being firmly shut in protest. And then stony silence momentarily returned to the residence halls.

“Now look what you’ve done,” she complained. “Thanks a lot.”

“So it’s ‘Donna’,” he crowed. 

“Yeah. And you’re drunk.”

“Yes I am. ♫♬♪♩ So if you're feeling alright and you're ready for me, I know that I'm ready for you. We better get it on now,” he sung more softly. “'Cause we've got our whole lives to live through ♫♬♪♩” 

“You don’t give up, do you?”

“Nope.”

“Go on then, give me one good reason why I should even contemplate letting you near me,” she dared. “Because so far all I’ve heard is beer-goggle compliments.”

“Okay,” he gulped, “confession time. That’s if you wanted the whole titwanking fantasy story, but I daresay you want flattery and… and that undying love crap girls usually fall for. Here’s the thing. I’m in deep lust with you but nobody knows. I would fuck you from here until Christmas if you’d let me. Your bed would make all the others jealous of it.”

A thought occurred to her. “You’re just after a bed for the night because you’ve forgotten where your own room is.”

“No,” he hastily denied, and then lowered his voice to a whisper. “I know where it is. It’s down the corridor. Somewhere. Not sure at the moment. But if you let me in, I’d be no problem. Promise. The floor is fine. And I’ll make sure you get some cred for this. Just... don’t make me spend the night alone, please. Not tonight.”

So she’d been right. She shrugged dismissively. “Why not? But make it look good.”

Surging forward, he clamped his mouth over hers and bodily pushed her into the room before shutting the door firmly behind them.

~o~

The cold light of dawn forced Peter to clamp his hands desperately over his eyes as pain from various parts of his body bloomed as he moved and nausea rose up to greet him.

“Where the fuck am I?” he hoarsely pondered when nothing he could make out seemed familiar.

“Causing me problems,” a sarcastic female voice said. “And don't even think of throwing up on my floor.”

With a great deal of effort, he managed to turn his head; and caught a glimpse of the bare calves and feet of a woman… girl… but ‘fellow student’ did not cross his mind. He squinted as the dark shadow of a person perched on the edge of a bed refused to focus from the blur. “Who the fuck are you?”

She sighed deeply. “Not this again! Don’t you ever know who you are accosting?”

“I might,” he defended himself, trying to sit up and instantly regretting it. The hand that came up to tussle his hair noticed that his chest was as bare as the rest of him apparently was. “Did you take off my clothes?”

“No, that was you,” she retorted. “You insisted on taking everything off.”

“Sounds like me,” he agreed, attempting to nod and regretting that action too. “I hope you didn’t take advantage.”

“Depends what you mean,” she reasoned. “I would have run off with your debit card and spent all your money but I suspect you don’t have much.” 

“That’s fucking true.” He then peered up at her seated form with curiosity. “So if I’m not here on your floor because we fucked, why **am** I here?”

“I thought you were a cheapo stripper,” she answered, deadpan. “There’s not many reasons why you would be in my bedroom.”

Now thoroughly confused, he asked, “Did I do anything embarrassing?”

She snorted a laugh. “Oh yes! You were singing love songs out in the corridor.”

“Shit!” he exclaimed in horror. “How the fuck am I going to live that down?”

“I let people gain the impression you were my boyfriend, if that helps? At least the breakup won’t be painful,” she added.

“So you took me in, let me sleep here and pretended we have a relationship,” he mused. “Why did you do that?”

“It’s what friends are for,” she replied. “That’s if you actually remember where you’ve seen me before. Economics class, in case you are still wondering.”

“Ah yes,” he murmured. “I’ve noticed you there.”

“So you said.”

“What did I say?!”

“Nothing that can’t be used for future blackmail.” Her grin was infectious. “Get up, birthday boy. I promise not to look if you want to go have a shower. We have things to do.”

“We do? Like what?”

“Breakfast is on you for a start,” she demanded. “Anything after that is up for negotiation.”

It was only fair that he tickle her legs as he pulled himself up from the floor to stand. Friends did that sort of thing, he justified. Shame that singing love songs to them wasn’t; but he’d work on that aspect later. Once he had sobered up properly. And had another fantasy about those magnificent breasts of hers. Well… he _was_ only human.


End file.
